So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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