she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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