Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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