There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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