dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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