i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
