Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
