There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
