you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
