I'm drive I can fine osifer
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
