I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
