Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
