I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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