I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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