i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
