Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
