Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
