Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
