I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Randomize
