So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
