yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
