just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
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