Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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