I am puke
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
