I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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