Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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