Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
