Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
