I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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