FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
