After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
