Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
if only i could text you this smell
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
