Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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