And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
