My room smells like vodka and shame
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
