Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
