I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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