he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
