I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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