dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
