I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
