Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize