Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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