My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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