My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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