Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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