she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
