I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
