I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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