I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
