Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
the liver wants what the liver wants
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
