I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
