I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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