You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
