u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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