I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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