The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
did i just pee glitter
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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