Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
