I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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