i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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