dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
