Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
