Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize