Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
