I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
