Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
