More tranny stories later!
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
