Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize