better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
