just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
