i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
thus making me awesome and them whores
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
