I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
love makes seman taste better
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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