I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
