So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
