He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
